始発Shihatsu

JRJR新宿shinjuku始発shihatsu出るderu頃koro　あなたanataのnoもとmotoをwo私watashiはwa発つtatsu

Around the time the first JR Shinjuku train departs, I leave your side

口kuchiにni残るnokoru味ajiがga問うtou「「正気shoukiか？ka?手放せるtebanaseruのnoか？ka?」」

The taste left in my mouth asks — "Are you sane? Can you really let go?"

もうmou何年nannen経ったtattaだろうdarou　数えるkazoeru指yubiがgaかじかむkajikamu

How many years has it been now — the fingers I count on have gone numb

そもそもsomosomoこのkono小さなchiisa na胸muneにniはwa　とてもtotemo耐えれるtaereruことkotoでdeはwaなくnaku

Something like this was always too much for this small chest of mine to bear

溶けないtokenai化粧keshouをwo揺るがすyurugasu程hodoにni　泣いてnaiteしまえたshimaetaならnaraよかったyokatta

I wish I could have cried hard enough to shake this makeup that won't come off

今更imasara流れ出すnagaredasu涙namidaがgaやけにyakeni温かいatatakai

The tears finally spilling out now feel strangely warm

あぁaa何度nando鳴ったnattaだろうdarou　警報keihouをwoうまくumakuやり過ごしてyarisugoshite

Ah, how many times did that alarm go off — I learned to slip past it so well

懲りずkorizuにni運んだhakondaこのkono脚ashiがga　ごめんねgomen ne　震えてるfurueteru

These legs that kept carrying me back without learning their lesson — sorry, they're trembling

空洞kuudou吹き抜けるfukinukeru生温いnamanurui風kaze　車内shanai広告koukokuのno下品たgehin ta唄い文句utai monku

A lukewarm wind blowing through the hollow car, the vulgar jingles in the train ads

もうmouなにもnanimo刺さらないsasaranai　リフレインrifureinだけdake置き去りokizariにniしてshite

Nothing gets through to me anymore — leaving only the refrain behind

「「貴方anataがga好きsukiでしたdeshita」」あのときano toki　どうしてdoushite　何故naze

"I loved you" — back then, why, how

手teのno鳴るnaru方houへe　歩めたayumetaならnara　きっとkitto

If only I could have walked toward where the applause was coming from — surely

プラットホームpurattohoomuがga誘っているsasotteiru　飛び込んでtobikonde来いkoiとto嘲笑っているazawaratteiru

The platform is calling to me, laughing and daring me to jump in

愛されるaisareruのnoにniはwa疲れたtsukaretaろroとto　ましてmashite愛すaisuなんてnanteやめてyameteおけokeとto

You must be tired of being loved — and loving someone, don't even try

プラットホームpurattohoomuがga誘っているsasotteiru　飛び込んでtobikonde来いkoiとto嘲笑っているazawaratteiru

The platform is calling to me, laughing and daring me to jump in

愛されるaisareruのnoにniはwa疲れたtsukaretaろroとto

You must be tired of being loved

ああaaもうmou始まるhajimaru今日kyouがga

Ah, and today is already starting

けしてkeshite大それたoosoretaことkotoをwo互いにtagai ni求めてたmotometetaわけwakeでdeはwaなかったnakatta

It wasn't as though either of us was asking for something grand

ただtadaどうだろうdou darou　仕方ないshikata naiとtoだけdakeはwa言いたくなくてiitaku nakute

But still — I just couldn't bear to say it was simply unavoidable

ああaaどんなにdonna ni欲しいhoshiiだろうdarou　つたうtsutau指yubi思い出すomoidasu

Ah, how badly I wanted it — I remember your fingers tracing down

そもそもsomosomo幼いosanai私watashiにniはwa　泣くnakuしかshika残されてnokosareteはwaいないinai

For someone as young as I was then, all that was left was to cry

紺色kon'iroをwo淡くawaku手放すtebanasu空sora　どんなに、donna ni,赤くakakuなるnaru程hodoにni泣いてnaiteもmo

The sky releasing its deep navy into pale light — no matter how hard I cried, red-faced

そうsou　世間知らずseken shirazuのno私watashiはwa　随分zuibun甘え倒してたamae taoshitetaからkara

Yes — I was so naive, leaning on others far too much

「「貴方anataがga好きsukiでしたdeshita」」あのときano tokiどうしてdoushite　何故naze

"I loved you" — back then, why, how

貴方anataのnoそのsono腕udeをwo　振り解いてfurihodoiteしまったshimattaのnoかka

Did I end up pulling free from that arm of yours

プラットホームpurattohoomuがga誘っているsasotteiru　飛び込んでtobikonde来いkoiとto嘲笑っているazawaratteiru

The platform is calling to me, laughing and daring me to jump in

愛されるaisareruのnoにniはwa疲れたtsukaretaろroとto　ましてmashite愛すaisuなんてnanteやめてyameteおけokeとto

You must be tired of being loved — and loving someone, don't even try

このままkono mama黙ってdamatte走ってくるhashitte kuru　速度sokudoにni身miをwo任せてmakasete仕舞うshimauだけdakeでdeいいiiとto

I could just stay quiet and give myself over to the speed rushing toward me

貴方anataのno声koeもmo匂いnioiもmo背中senakaもmo他hokaのno誰かdarekaのnoものmonoにniなるnaruのnoでしょうdeshou

Your voice, your scent, your back — all of it will belong to someone else

伸びたnobitaそのsono黒髪kurokamiをwo指yubiでde遊ばせるasobaseruことkotoもmo　もうmou

Running my fingers through that long black hair — that too, is already

どんなdonna身体karadaをwoもってmotteしてshiteもmo　どんなdonna台詞serifuをwo吐いたhaitaとしてto shiteもmo

No matter what body I have, no matter what words I speak

えぇee　判ってるwakatteru

Yes — I know

あの日ano hiのno改札kaisatsuをwo思い出すomoidasu　きっとkitto私watashiはwa生きてゆくikite yuku

I think back to the ticket gate that day — I will go on living

愛されるaisareruのnoにniはwa疲れたtsukaretaけどkedo　ましてmashite愛すaisuなんてnante怖いkowaiけれどkeredo

I'm tired of being loved, and loving someone terrifies me

忘れるwasureruことkotoならnara諦めてるakirameteru　それでもsoredemo抱えてkakaete生きてゆけるikite yukeru

I've given up on forgetting — even so, I can carry it and keep living

あの日ano hiのno改札kaisatsuをwo思い出すomoidasu

I think back to the ticket gate that day

あの日ano hiのno改札kaisatsuをwo思い出すomoidasu

I think back to the ticket gate that day

プラットホームpurattohoomuがga誘っているsasotteiru　飛び込んでtobikonde来いkoiとto嘲笑っているazawaratteiru

The platform is calling to me, laughing and daring me to jump in

愛されるaisareruのnoにniはwa疲れたtsukaretaろroとto　ましてmashite愛すaisuなんてnanteやめてyameteおけokeとto

You must be tired of being loved — and loving someone, don't even try

プラットホームpurattohoomuがga誘っているsasotteiru　飛び込んでtobikonde来いkoiとto嘲笑っているazawaratteiru

The platform is calling to me, laughing and daring me to jump in

愛されるaisareruのnoにniはwa疲れたtsukaretaろroとto

You must be tired of being loved

プラットホームpurattohoomuがga誘っているsasotteiru

The platform is calling to me

飛び込んでtobikonde来いkoiとto嘲笑っているazawaratteiru

Laughing and daring me to jump in

プラットホームpurattohoomuがga誘っているsasotteiru　誘っているsasotteiru

The platform is calling to me, calling to me

あの日ano hiのno改札kaisatsuをwo思い出すomoidasu

I think back to the ticket gate that day