実況Jikkyou中継Chuukei

いよいよiyoiyo始まりましたhajimarimashita　引っ張りましたhipparimashita　お待たせomatase致しましたitashimashita

Ladies and gentlemen, it's finally begun — kept you waiting — sorry for the delay

騙し騙しdamashi damashiでde　改めましてaratamemashite　自己紹介jiko shoukaiからkaraはじめさせていただきますhajimesasete itadakimasu

Through smoke and mirrors — once again — let me begin with introductions

まずmazu解説kaisetsuですdesu　お迎えomukaeするsuruのnoはwaそうsou神様kamisamaですdesu

First, on commentary — we welcome none other than God himself

御歳otoshi、、今年kotoshi2011nisenjuuichi歳sai　一切合切issaigassaiのnoこのkono世界sekaiをwo作りあげたtsukuriageta大先輩daisenpai

Age: 2011 this year — the great senior who created this entire world

してやったりshite yattari顔gaoのno万々歳banbanzai　御苦労様gokurousamaですdesu　御馳走様gochisousamaですdesu　実況jikkyouはwa私watashi仏様hotokesamaですdesu

Wearing that smug face of triumph — thank you for your service, thank you for the feast — I, Buddha, am your host

今日kyouお送りokuriするsuru人生jinseiゲームgeemuはwaアジアAjiaのno島国shimaguni、、日本Nihonですdesu

Today's Game of Life comes to you from an island nation in Asia: Japan

いつもitsumoのnoようにyou niノリノリnorinoriでde　お届けotodokeしたいshitaiとto思っておりますomotte orimasu

We plan to deliver it with the usual enthusiasm

まずmazuはwaじっくりjikkuri見ていきましょうmite ikimashouかka　彼らkareraのno生き様ikizamaがgaどんなdonnaもんmonかka

First, let's take a nice long look at what their lives are about

言ったittaそばsobaからkara　どうもdoumoおかしなokashinaことkotoがga起こってるokotteruようyouだdaなna　どうやらdouyara

And wouldn't you know, something strange seems to be happening already

おーっとootto彼kareはwa今imaまさにmasa ni　首kubi吊ろうtsurouとto下げたsageta紐himoをwo手teにni

Whoa — he's right now, with a noose in his trembling hands

震えるfurueru手teにniはwa何やらnaniyara迷いmayoiがga　伺えukagaeどもdomoもうmou後atoにゃnya引けぬhikenuかka

There seems to be hesitation, but there's no turning back now

そこsoko3sanカメkamiさんsan　彼kareのno中nakaにni、、顔kaoにni　寄ってってyottetteよyoもっとmottoいってitte

Camera 3, zoom in on him — get closer, closer to his face

心拍数shinpakusuuでde　声koeもmoかき消されそうkakikesare souですdesuがga　耳mimiすましてみようsumashite miyouねne

His heartbeat is nearly drowning out his voice, but let's listen carefully

「"もうmou無理muri、、不可fuka、、否hi　こんなkonna場所bashoにni一秒ichibyouだってdatteいられるirareruわけないwake nai

"I can't take it, impossible, no — I can't stay in this place for even one second

今ima必要hitsuyouなnaのnoはwa酸素sansoじゃないja nai　ここkokoにniないnaiこのkono世yoのnoどこにもdoko ni moないnai

What I need right now isn't oxygen — it's something that isn't here, isn't anywhere in this world

死んだらshindara負けmake　知るかshiruka黙れdamare　今更imasara勝つkatsu気kiなどnadoあるaruかkaよyoボケboke

Die and you lose — shut up, who cares — you think I'm trying to win at this point? Idiot

死ぬshinu勇気yuukiがgaあるんならarun nara　どーとかこーとかdoo toka koo toka

If you've got the courage to die — blah blah blah

もうmou怖いkowaiもんmonなどnadoないんだってnaindatte　だからdakaraなんだってnandatteできるdekiru

I'm not scared of anything anymore — so I can do anything

なんだってnandatteそんなsonna　嘘usoばっかbakka言えんだienda??

How can you tell such lies so easily?

からかってんならばkarakattennara ba　わかったwakattaからkaraさsa

If you're messing with me — fine, I get it

人hitoはwa　ズブズブzubuzubuにni　ジブンjibunにni夢中muchuu

People are — hopelessly — obsessed with themselves

嫌んなってiyannatteばかりbakari　頑張ってganbatte悟りsatori

Getting sick of everything — trying hard to find enlightenment

踏ん張ってfunbatteみたmitaとこtokoでde　またmata一人hitoriでde

Hanging in there only to end up alone again

祈ってinotteみたりmitari　もmo思ってるomotteruよりyori…」..."

Tried praying — but more than you'd think..."

ここkokoでde　音声onseiがga途切れましたtogiremashita

And there — the audio cuts out

我々warewareはwa彼らkareraのno遥かharuka上空joukuuのno　彼方kanata天空tenkuuのnoさらにsara ni時空jikuuのno先sakiのno

We have our commentary booth set up behind the galactic net

銀河gingaのnoネットnetto裏uraにni　実況席jikkyouseki設けてますmouketemasuゆえにyue ni

Far above them, beyond the heavens, beyond the fabric of space-time itself

今日kyouもmo高みtakamiのno見物kenbutsuとto　さぁさsaasa皆minnaでde参りましょmairimasho

Today too, let's enjoy the show from up high — come now, everyone

こんなkonna星hoshiにni産み堕とされなかったumi otosarenakattaことkotoをwo　皆minnaでde喜びましょyorokobimasho

Let us rejoice that we weren't born on such a planet

あらあらaraara　ほんとhontoヤダヤダyadayada　てんでtende馬鹿馬鹿bakabaka　もうmou駄目dameだdaこりゃkorya

Oh dear, oh dear — what a mess, what fools — this is hopeless

ついにtsui ni来たkitaのnoねneここkokoまでmade彼らkareraはwa　100万年hyakumannenのno月日tsukihi

They've finally come this far — a million years of time

消えるkieruことkotoのnoないnai汚物obutsu　大量tairyouのno使用済みshiyouzumi廃棄物haikibutsu　つまりはtsumariwa大量tairyou破壊hakai兵器物heikibutsu

Filth that never fades — massive amounts of used waste — in other words, weapons of mass destruction

をwo核kakuもmo卑しくもiyashiku mo　生み続けumitsudzukeしたりshitari顔gao満足げmanzokuge

Shamelessly producing them, nuclear and all, looking satisfied

奇形kikei、、奇病kibyou　自らmizukaraのno子koとto言えどもiedomo　忌み嫌うimi kirauほどhodoのno

Mutations, strange diseases — even their own children they despise

我が子waga koのno壊れようkoware you　ガラクタgarakutaのnoようyou　さぁsaaどこdokoからkara切り落としてkiriotoshiteあげようageyou

Look how broken their babies are — like junk — now where shall we start cutting?

もうmou神様kamisamaここいらkoko iraでde　ひと言hitokotoまとめてmatomete頂いてitadaite

God, could you wrap things up with a word here?

「"死なないshinanai程度teidoにni賢くてkashikokute　生き延びれぬikinobirenai程度teidoにniバカなbaka na」"僕らbokura

"Smart enough not to die — too stupid to survive" — that's us

なんだってnandatteことkotoならnara　わかってるんだwakatterunda

What is it then — we know that

でもdemoなんてこったnantekotta　嘘usoばっかbakkaなんだnanda

But what the hell — it's all lies

からかってんならばkarakattennara ba　わかったwakattaからkaraさsa

If you're messing with us — fine, we get it

人hitoはwa　ズブズブzubuzubuにni　自分jibunにni夢中muchuu

People are — hopelessly — obsessed with themselves

嫌んなってiyannatteばかりbakari　頑張ってganbatte悟りsatori

Getting sick of everything — trying hard to find enlightenment

踏ん張ってfunbatteみてもmitemo　いつだってitsudatteひとりhitoriでde

Hanging in there only to end up alone every time

祈ってinotteみたりmitari　もmo思ってるomotteruよりyori

Tried praying — but more than you'd think

人hitoはwa　ブクブクbukubukuにni　「"ボクboku」"にni夢中muchuu

People are — bloated with — obsession with "me"

過去kako2000nisen年nenちょいchoiにni亘ってwatatteお送りokuriしてshiteきたkita人生jinseiゲームgeemuですdesuがga

We've been broadcasting this Game of Life for just over 2000 years, but

全くmattaku進歩shinpoがga見てとれませんmitetoremasen　もうmou空いたaita口kuchiがga塞がりませんfusagarimasen

There's absolutely no sign of progress — I'm simply speechless

今回konkaiもmo失敗作shippaisaku　ってtteことkotoでde一段落ichidanraku

Another failed creation — that's a wrap

だってdatte仕方shikataがgaないnai　致し方itashikataがgaないnai　直し方naoshikataがgaないnai　話したくもないhanashitaku mo nai

Can't help it — no way around it — no way to fix it — don't even want to talk about it

ほらhoraまたmata一人hitori　膝hizaをwoつきtsuki　我らwareraにni向かってmukatte必死hisshiのno祈りinori

Look, another one — on their knees, praying desperately to us

「"神様kamisama、、神様kamisama、、仏様hotokesama　どうかdoukaこのkono願いnegaiお叶えokanaeくださいkudasai」"

"God, God, Buddha — please grant this wish"

神kami「"どうしようdoushiyou」"

God: "What should we do?"

仏hotoke「"ちょっとchotto待ってmatteよyo」"

Buddha: "Hold on a sec"

神kami「"叶えちゃおうkanaechaou」"

God: "Let's grant it"

仏hotoke「"だからdakara待てってmatette」"

Buddha: "I said wait"

神kami「"なんだよnandayo　口kuchiをwo挟むなhasamunaよyo　関係kankeiねーneeだろdaro」"

God: "What? Don't butt in — it's got nothing to do with you"

仏hotoke「"関係kankeiあんだよandayo」"

Buddha: "It does too"

神kami「"なんだとnandato??神様kamisamaどうかdoukaお願いonegaiってtte言ってんittenだろdaroがga」"

God: "What? They said 'God please' didn't they?"

仏hotoke「"仏様hotokesamaともtomo言ってんittenだろdaroがga」"

Buddha: "They said 'Buddha' too, didn't they?"

神kami「"一回ikkaiだろdaro　俺oreはwa二回nikaiだdaぞzo」"

God: "Once! I got mentioned twice"

仏hotoke「"回数kaisuuじゃねぇーよja neee yo」"

Buddha: "It's not about how many times!"

神kami「"なんだよnandayo　タイプtaipuかka??あのano子koがga」"

God: "What? Is that kid your type?"

仏hotoke「"うるせーurusee　やんのかyanno ka」"

Buddha: "Shut up — you wanna go?"

神kami「"やったるよyattaru yo　我がwaga信者達shinjatachiよyo出合えー出合えーdeaee deaee

God: "Bring it — my faithful followers, to arms, to arms

我がwaga力chikaraここkokoにni見せつけmisetsukeたまえtamae」"

Let my power be shown here and now"

仏hotoke「"菩薩bosatsuのno怒りikariをwo　くらえーくらえーkuraee kuraee」"

Buddha: "Taste the wrath of the Bodhisattva"

間違ってるんだってmachigatterundatte　わかってるんだwakatterunda

We know it's wrong — we know that

でもdemoなんてこったnantekotta　嘘usoばっかbakkaなんだnanda

But what the hell — it's all lies

からかってんならばkarakattennara ba　わかったwakattaからkaraさsa

If you're messing with us — fine, we get it

人hitoはwa　ズブズブzubuzubuにni　自分jibunにni夢中muchuu

People are — hopelessly — obsessed with themselves

嫌んなってiyannatteばかりbakari　頑張ってganbatte悟りsatori

Getting sick of everything — trying hard to find enlightenment

踏ん張ってfunbatteみたmitaとこtokoでde　またmata一人hitoriでde

Hanging in there only to end up alone again

祈ってinotteみたりmitari　もmo思ってるomotteruよりyori

Tried praying — but more than you'd think

人hitoはwa　ブクブクbukubukuにni　「"ボクboku」"にni夢中muchuu

People are — bloated with — obsession with "me"