PAPARAZZI～＊~ *このKono物語MonogatariはwaフィクションFikushonですDesu～~

ねぇねぇnee nee　お父さんotousan、、お父さんotousan　今度kondoのno国語kokugoのno宿題shukudaiでde

Hey hey, Daddy, Daddy, for my next Japanese class homework

『『お父さんotousanのnoお仕事oshigoto』』ってtte課題kadaiでde明日ashitaまでmadeにni作文sakubun書くkakuのno

The assignment is 'My Father's Job' and I have to write an essay by tomorrow

みんなminnaのno前maeでde発表happyouもmoしなきゃshinakyaでde　ほんとにhonto niイヤiyaだけどdakedo頑張るganbaruよyo

I have to present it in front of everyone too, I really hate it but I'll do my best

先生senseiもmoみんなminnaのnoお父さんotousanのno自慢jimanをwo楽しみtanoshimiにniしてるshiteruってtte

The teacher says she's looking forward to everyone bragging about their dads

そうかsouka、、いいかいii kai？？　お父さんotousanのno仕事shigotoはwa普通futsuuとtoはwaちょっとchotto違うchigau

I see, listen up, your father's job is a little different from most

大きなookina意味imiでdeはwa世の中yononakaのno人hitoにni娯楽gorakuをwo提供teikyouしてるんだshiterunda

In a big-picture sense, I provide entertainment to the public

役者yakushaさんsan、、ミュージシャンmyuujishan、、スポーツsupootsu選手senshuやya著名人chomeijin

Actors, musicians, athletes, celebrities

家ieのno前maeだdaとかtoka仕事場shigotobaでdeもmo　どんなdonnaところtokoroだってdatte張り付いてharitsuite

Whether it's in front of their homes or at their workplaces, I stake out anywhere

そのsono人hitoのno日々hibiのno監視kanshiをwoするsuru　そういうsou iu仕事shigotoをwoしてるんだshiterunda

I monitor their daily lives, that's the kind of work I do

そしてsoshite何かnanika悪さwarusaをwoしたりshitari面白いomoshiroiことkotoがga起こったりokottariするsuruとto

And when they do something wrong or something interesting happens

それsoreをwoすかさずsukasazu記事kijiにni書いてkaite　世間sekenのnoみんなminnaにni知らせるんだshiraserunda

I write it up as an article right away and let the whole world know

体力tairyokuもmo根気konkiもmoなきゃnakyaいけないikenai　とてもtotemo大変なtaihen na仕事shigotoなんだnanda

You need stamina and persistence, it's a very tough job

なにnaniほざけhozake　盗撮tousatsu、、盗聴touchou、、尾行bikou、、張り込みharikomi

Give me a break, wiretapping, stalking, tailing, staking out

好きなsuki naだけdakeやりたい放題yaritai houdai　天誅tenchuu下したkudashitaつもりtsumoriかkaねne

Doing whatever you want as much as you want, you think you're delivering divine punishment?

してshiteやったりyattari顔gaoがga見え見えmiemieでde

That smug look on your face is painfully obvious

気持ちkimochiがgaねne　どうにもこうにもdou ni mo kou ni mo悪いwarui

It just makes me feel sick

あんたらantaraはwaどれだけdore dake立派なrippa na人生jinseiなんだnanda？？

How great a life are you living exactly?

どのdonoツラtsuraさげてsageteんなnnaことkotoしてんだshitenda

What face do you have the nerve to do this with?

倫理rinriにni反したhan shitaあんたらantaraがga

You, who violate ethics

なにnani「「不倫furinだda、、不純fujunだda」」言ってんだittenda

What are you doing saying "affair" and "impure"?

国家権力kokka kenryokuにゃnyaヘコヘコhekohekoしますshimasu　弱いyowaiものmonoイジメijimeがga板itaにniつきますtsukimasu

You grovel to state power, you're a pro at bullying the weak

あんたantaのno子供kodomoのno頃koroのno夢yumeはwaまさかmasaka　それsoreじゃjaなかったnakattaよyoなna？？

Your childhood dream surely wasn't this, was it?

知りたくshiritakuもmoねぇnee　必要hitsuyouもmoねぇnee　ただtada誇りhokori持ってmotteそれsoreしてんならねぇshitennaranee

Don't want to know, don't need to know, but if you do it with pride

ドカドカdokadoka踏み込んでfumikondeくるkuru割にwari niさsa　コソコソkosokoso逃げたりnigetariすんなsunnaやyaあんたanta

For someone who barges in so boldly, don't go sneaking away when confronted

卑怯hikyouをwo絵eにni書いたkaitaあんたantaのno言葉kotoba　薄っぺらusupperaすぎてsugi te悲しくkanashikuなんさnansa

Your words, the very picture of cowardice, are so thin they make me sad

『『君kimiのno名naはwa。。』』のno大ヒットdai hittoがga起こるokoruとtoすかさずsukasazu出てdeteくるkuruゲスgesuなnaやつyatsu

The moment 'Your Name.' became a mega hit, out crawl the lowlifes

ポッと出potto deでde出てdeteきたkitaわけwakeじゃjaねぇnee　こちとらkochitoraメジャーmejaaでde10余年juu yo nen

I didn't just pop up out of nowhere, I've been major for over ten years

こんなkonna変わり者kawarimonoのno俺oreのno音楽ongakuをwo待ってmatteくれてるkureteruファンfanたちtachiとto

The fans who've been waiting for an oddball like me and my music

絆kizunaをwo一つずつhitotsu zutsu作り上げtsukuriage　毎度maidoアリーナariinaツアーtsuaaやってんだyattenda、、バカbakaがga

We built our bonds one by one, doing arena tours every time, you fools

それsoreがgaなんだnanda？？　俺oreのnoとこtokoならnara100歩hyappo譲ったyuzuttaとtoしてもshite mo

So what? Even if I gave a hundred concessions on my end

実家jikkaのno親oyaのno家ieにniへばりついてhebaritsuite　堂々doudou直撃chokugekiしてshiteきたkitaなna

You stuck yourselves to my parents' house and came at them head-on

「「息子musukoさんsan、、苦節kusetsu10年juu nen　成功seikouしてshiteよかったyokattaですdesuねne

"Your son, after ten tough years, must feel great about his success

親御さんoyago sanとtoしてshiteどうdouですdesuかka」」　あんたantaのno親oyaにniもmo聞いたろかkiitaroka

How do you feel as parents?" Shall I ask your parents too?

よかったyokattaですdesuねne　、、息子musukoさんsan　無事buji立派にrippa ni大きくookiku育たれてsodatarete

Congratulations, your son grew up fine and strong

朝asaからkara車kurumaのno中nakaでde一般市民ippan shiminのno家ieのno前mae張り込んでharikonde

Staking out in front of a private citizen's house from morning in a car

嫌がるiyagaruのnoをwo無理やりmuriyari話hanashi聞いてkiite　許可kyokaもmo取らずtorazuにni写真shashin撮ってtotte

Forcing them to talk when they don't want to, taking photos without permission

雑誌zasshiにni載せてnosete　稼いだkaseida金kaneでde　今日kyouもmo生きてるikiteru息子musukoさんsanにni

Putting it in magazines, and with the money earned, your son lives another day

ひと言hitokoto、、何かnanikaありますarimasuかka？？　ないnaiですdesuかka　ないnaiわけwakeないnaiですdesuよyoねne

Got anything to say? No? There's no way you don't

なくてもnakute mo聞いてkiiteくるkuruのnoがga　息子musukoさんsan　絞り出してshiboridashiteでもde mo言ってitteごらんgoran

Even if you don't, coming to ask anyway, that's your son, so squeeze it out and say something

お父さんotousanすごいsugoiねne　お父さんotousanがgaいないinaiとto困るkomaru人たちhitotachiいっぱいippaiいるiruねne

Daddy's so cool, there are so many people who need Daddy

やっぱyappaかっこいいkakkoiiなnaお父さんotousan　いつまでもitsumade mo僕bokuのno自慢jimanだdaよyo

You really are the coolest, Daddy, you'll always be my pride

でもdemoいいかいii kai、、中nakaにniはwa父さんtousanのnoこのkono仕事shigotoをwo馬鹿にしたりbaka ni shitari

But listen, there are some people who make fun of Daddy's job

軽蔑keibetsuしたりshitariするsuruヤツyatsuもmoいるんだirunda　だけどdakedo父さんtousanはwa負けないmakenaiよyo

Or look down on it, but Daddy won't lose to them

父さんtousanはwa胸muneをwo張ってhatte生きてるikiteru　求められるmotomerareruからkaraやってyatteいるiru

Daddy lives with his chest held high, I do it because people need it

父さんtousanのno仕事shigotoをwo楽しみtanoshimiにniしてるshiteru人hitoのnoためにtame ni　頑張るganbaruよyo

For the people who look forward to Daddy's work, I'll do my best

はいはいhai hai、、自分jibunのno仕事shigotoにni自信jishinをwo持ってmotteいるiruのnoはwa結構kekkouですdesu

Sure, sure, it's great that you're proud of your work

堂々とdoudou to今日kyouもmo　胸muneをwo張ってhatte生きててikitete何よりnani yoriですdesu

Great that you live with your chest held high today too

じゃあjaa尾行bikouがgaバレてbareteカメラkamera向けられてmukerareteもmo堂々とdoudou to逃げずnigezu答えろkotaeroやya

Then when you get caught tailing someone and a camera's pointed at you, stand your ground and answer

カップルkappuruのnoフリfuriでde隣tonari座ってsuwatte　ストーカーsutookaaばりbariにni盗み聞くnusumigikuなna

Sitting next to couples pretending to be one, eavesdropping like a stalker

人間不信ningen fushin　情報不信jouhou fushin　頭atamaがgaおかしくokashikuなりかけたnarikaketa

Distrust of people, distrust of information, I was going crazy

それでもsore demoさsa、、笑うwarauのnoかka？？　あんたらantaraにゃnya何もnanimo伝わらんかtsutawaranka

And still, you laugh? Does nothing get through to you people?

煽ってaotte報じるhoujiruテレビterebiがgaわりぃwarii　こぞってkozotte食いつくkuitsuku世間sekenがgaわりぃwarii

TV that provokes and reports is bad, the public that eats it up is bad

「「求められるmotomerareruからkaraやってyatteいるiru」」？？　すごいsugoiねne神様kamisamaみたいmitaiだdaねne

"We do it because there's demand"? Wow, you're like a god

あんたantaのnoわずかなwazuka naオマンマomanmaのnoタネtaneにni　世間sekenのnoわずかなwazuka na娯楽gorakuのnoためにtame ni

For your measly bread and butter, for the public's measly entertainment

抹殺massatsuされたsareta人々hitobitoはwa　それでもsore demo生きてikiteいくんだからikundakara

The people whose lives you destroyed still have to go on living

俺oreはwaやるべきyarubekiことkotoをwoやってyatteいるiru

I'm doing what I should be doing

君kimiはwa恥ずべきhazubekiことkotoをwoやってyatteいるiru

You're doing what you should be ashamed of

恥ずかしくないhazukashikunaiとto言うiuのnoならnara　隠れずkakurezu盗まずnusumazu生きてろikiteroやya

If you say you're not ashamed, then live without hiding and without stealing

目meをwo見てmite話hanashiがgaできなくてdekinakute　何naniがga堂々とdoudou to生きてるだikiteruda

If you can't even look someone in the eye and talk, what do you mean "living proudly"?

お父さんotousan書いたkaitaよyo、、頑張ったganbattaよyo　明日ashitaのno発表happyou楽しみtanoshimiだda

Daddy, I wrote it, I worked hard, I'm so excited for tomorrow's presentation

みんなminnaのno前maeでde胸muneをwo張ってhatte　大きなookina声koeでde読んでyondeくるkuruねne

I'll stand tall in front of everyone and read it in a big, loud voice

ありがとなarigatou na　ほんとになhonto ni na　お前omaeはwa誇れるhokoreru息子musukoだdaなna

Thank you, really, you're a son I'm proud of

そうだsouda、、明日ashitaのnoことkotoだけどdakedo　しばらくshibaraku休みyasumiもmoなかったしnakattashi

Oh right, about tomorrow, I haven't had a day off in a while

一緒にissho ni遊んでasondeやれなかったyarenakattaからkara　家族旅行kazoku ryokouにniでもdemo行こうikouかka

I haven't been able to play with you, so how about we go on a family trip?

だからdakara学校gakkouはwa休んでyasundeいいiiぞzo　先生senseiたちtachiにniはwa内緒naishoでdeなna

So you can skip school, but keep it a secret from the teachers