勝手KatteにniオリンピックOrinpikku

みんなminna違ってchigatteみんなminna良いんならiinnara

If everyone's different and everyone's great

どうやってdou yatte君kimiにni見付けてもらえばmitsuketemoraebaいいii

Then how am I supposed to get you to notice me?

どうやってdou yatte君kimiにni選ばれたらerabaretaraいいii

How am I supposed to be the one you choose?

精一杯seiippaiをwo比べてもらえばkurabetemoraeba分かるwakaru事kotoもmo

If you just compared our best efforts, some things would be clear

あるaruとto思うomouのでnode

Or so I'd like to think

それぞれsorezoreのno長所chousho短所tanshoをwo君kimiにni投げつけてnagetsukete

We each hurl our strengths and weaknesses at you

心kokoroのno 1番ichiban　近くchikakuにni当てたateta人hitoがga10点juttenねne

Whoever lands closest to your heart scores ten points

えぇee　ちょっとchotto待ってってmattetteなんでnandeそいつsoitsuがga優勝yuushou

Hey, wait wait wait — how'd that guy win?

嘘usoだろdaro　審判shinpan　そいつsoitsuまだmada何もnanimo投げてないnagetenaiぜze

No way, ref — that guy hasn't even thrown anything yet

選手senshu紹介shoukaiのnoそのsono前maeにni

Before we introduce the athletes

ここkokoまでmadeのnoハイライトhairaitoをwoご覧goran頂こうitadakou

Let's take a look at the highlights so far

とは言えtowa ie特にtoku ni面白くomoshirokuはwaないnaiのでnode

That said, they're not particularly interesting

もうmou一旦ittanCMCMお願いしますonegai shimasu

So let's cut to a quick commercial break

負けられないmakerarenai戦いtatakaiなのでnanode

This is a match I can't afford to lose

実況jikkyouもmo解説kaisetsuもmo監督kantokuもmoわたくしwatakushi1人hitoriがga

So the play-by-play, the commentary, and the coaching

お送りしてますokuri shitemasu

Are all being done by yours truly

さぁsaa　君kimiのno良いii所tokoroをwo君kimiにni披露hirouしてshite

Now then, let me show you your best qualities — to you

1番ichiban　素敵sutekiなna　笑顔egao引き出したhikidashita人hitoがga100点hyakutenねne

Whoever draws out the most beautiful smile gets a hundred points

えぇee　ちょっとchotto待ってってmattetteなんでnandeそいつsoitsuがga優勝yuushou

Hey, wait wait wait — how'd that guy win?

これからkore kara始まるhajimaru奇跡kisekiのno逆転劇gyakuten gekiにniご興味gokyoumiないnaiですかdesu ka

Aren't you interested in the miraculous comeback that's about to begin?